Practice Showing Yourself Kindness and Compassion

Life can be challenging for lots of reasons.  It is important to be intentional about your self-care and to find small ways to be kind to yourself in difficult moments.  Some life events can contribute to you experiencing feelings of anxiety, fear, and uncertainty.  Despite this, turning toward difficult experiences and responding with self-compassion builds your ability to cope, and makes you stronger and more resilient.   Below are three simple tips on practicing self-care during demanding times.

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GIVE YOURSELF MORE SELF-COMPASSION

Self-compassion is noticing that you are struggling and being kind to yourself rather than beating yourself up.  Think of what you would say to a good friend if he or she was facing a difficult or stressful situation.  Then, when you find yourself feeling emotionally challenged, direct these compassionate responses toward yourself.   Whether you have embarrassed yourself, acted out of character, or failed to meet a deadline, know that at the end of the day, you can ask for forgiveness and also forgive yourself.  Think about it this way.  Would you hold a grudge or judgment against a friend who had made the same error?  Odds are, probably not.  So do not treat yourself harder than you would anyone else.  Instead, take time each day to concentrate on something that you love about yourself.  

REMOVE YOUR MASK  

Regardless of your position or station in life, there are times when you will come face-to-face with some type of havoc that offends your inner peace and sanity.  Whether it is a divorce, rocky relationship, drug or alcohol addiction, spouse, or child abuse, unruly or disobedient children, work-related issues, your health, trouble with the law – you name it; you may feel powerless and believe that the situation you are facing is hopeless.  You question if you have value or a heart to serve others.  Not only are you battling with personal stressors you are equally bombarded with daily messages that you are not strong, not capable, or not successful enough.  You are told you should be more beautiful, smarter, and sexier.  You can be going down, down, down with everything falling around your ankles and still find yourself saying, “I’m fine.”  “I’m blessed.”  “I’m highly favored.”  But, in spite of all you proclaim, you frequently go through the motion of putting on a happy face to mask your pain, stress, or discomfort.  When you stumble, remember this: your Creator never intends you to stay down forever.  The Master of your soul intends for you to “rise up” and keep on walking with confidence and self-assured poise.

MAKE TIME FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY

The less time you spend on your electronics, the more time you will have to catch up with family and friends.  Try to make a concentrated effort of showing up for those you love.  You will be blown away by how much that simple connection can improve your mood and overall feelings of satisfaction with life.  Regardless of career and personal accomplishments, nothing can take the place of the warmth and support received from those who love and care about you.  When the day-to-day challenges seem to persist, you will have those moments when you need to bolt and close the door to the world.  During those rough times is when you will need to see a friendly face or hear a comforting voice.   It helps to have a healthy inner circle of loved ones who will permit you to remove your mask and to expose your scares in private.   We should all know that we could reach out to people who can help us when we need it.

Your self-care coach,

Dr. Wanda

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